Your Worst Nightmare
by The Tomo
Summary: This takes place after the story. Shu has a deep confusion of dreams and reality. Rated M for future language and adult content.
1. He Doesn't Care

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare  
Chapter 01: He Doesn't Care

In the middle of the night, Eiri woke to Shuichi shifting around in the bed, whimpering. 'Is he having nightmares again?' he thought to himself, reaching over and wrapping an arm around the boy's waist. He pulled the small body closer to his own, in an attempt to calm the boy down. Shu's whimpers died down a bit, but a small sound still came from the boy every now and then. Eiri held onto him tighter, somewhat possessively. He never liked it when Shu had nightmares, and lately, the pink haired boy was having nightmares almost every night.

'What causes the disturbance in his dreams? Is he afraid of something?' Eiri asked himself, trying to fall back asleep. After a few minutes, Eiri's slumber had continued, and he slept peacefully the rest of the night.

-

Shuichi woke, the sun pouring into the room, and over his face, warming it. He let his eyes roll open, and they darted around to take in the scenery. He was rather close to Eiri's body, and the writer had a tight grip around Shu's waist. Shuichi couldn't help but smile at the last observation made, it made him happy to be so close to Eiri, and he now didn't want to get up. But his stomach protested. It rumbled loudly, causing Eiri to move around.

"Morning, Shuichi," Eiri mumbled, letting go of the boy. Shuichi turned to face the blonde, smiling. Eiri still had his eyes closed, as though he still wanted to sleep.

"Morning, love. You hungry?" Shu asked, lightly running his fingers through Eiri's blonde strands. Eiri shook his head 'no' but his stomach growled quietly. Shuichi giggled.

"I heard that," the pink-haired boy said in a teasing tone. Eiri peeked his eyes open to look at Shu. He had a tired expression, and Shu thought that the writer looked like a sleepy kitten. And that caused him to smile widely.

"What are you smiling about?" Eiri asked in half-grunt. Shuichi shook his head and rolled out of bed. He stood straight on his feet, and reached his arms into the air, stretching. After he heard a couple satisfying pops in his bones, he went off to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Eiri stayed in bed, looking up at the ceiling. Thoughts of Shuichi's strange night behaviors were beginning to weave into his mind. Eiri had noticed that after Shuichi him started to have sex more regularly, Shu would whimper. Some nights that they didn't have sex he still whimpered, but it still stared after they began to get more intimate with one another.

Shuichi dug out a box of cereal from the cupboards, and also a bowl. He set them on the table and went to get the milk and a spoon. He heard Eiri groaning, and guessed that the writer was getting up out of bed. The blonde walked into the kitchen, rubbing his head and yawning. "You want some too?" Shu asked.

Eiri shook his head. "How can you eat that crap?" He asked the boy, looking over to the box of cereal. Shu frowned.

"Then what may I ask are you going to eat, Eiri?" Eiri shrugged, causing Shu's frown to drop deeper. "Eiri, you have to eat breakfast, it will give you energy for the day," Shuichi lectured, causing Eiri to roll his eyes.

Shu had decided to give up on it. "Forget it," he mumbled, walking to the table with the milk. He opened the cereal and poured it into the bowl, then filled it with milk. He soon began eating quietly.

Eiri watched the boy, walking over to the table. Shu glanced up at him, but only quickly. Eiri grabbed the box of cereal and put it away, doing the same with the milk. "What are you doing today, Shuichi?"

"Why?" Shu asked idly, paying most attention to the cereal.

"It's Saturday. I'm curious of what you're planning on doing," Eiri explained, sitting at the table across from Shu.

"I guess that I'll just stay home and relax. But if Hiro wants to do something, I'll go out with him," Shu said in a forlorn tone of voice.

"What's wrong?" Eiri asked, looking at him with a curious gaze.

"Nothing really, I was just having strange nightmares last night," Shu explained, holding his cereal filled spoon a few inches away from his mouth, just starring down at it.

Eiri frowned. He decided not to press on the subject. He didn't want to make Shu upset by bringing up his nightmares and nightly whimpers. So instead of asking, Eiri got up and started to walk out of the kitchen. He stopped when he was behind Shuichi and gently wrapped his arms around the boy's neck. "Don't fret, little Shuichi," he said before he took a hold of Shu's hand, the one holding the spoon, and brought it to his own mouth. "You shouldn't be afraid of mere dreams." And with that, Eiri opened his mouth and ate the spoon full of cereal.

-

Shuichi sat in the living room, where his own computer was. He was just messing around, basically just surfing the 'net. His mind was lost in questions about Eiri's behavior. Eiri never cared about what was bothering Shu before. Why now? Why would Eiri care if Shu had nightmares? It didn't make much sense to the younger man. Eiri showed that he didn't care much, but Shuichi knew that he did care. Why would the author start to show care?

Shuichi got up from his desk and walked through Eiri and his home. He decided to go talk to Eiri for a little while. He went to the author's study and quietly knocked on the door. He heard a grunt in response. "Eiri? Eiri, can I come in?" Shu called out through the door.

After a little while of silence, Shu heard in response, "Fine."

Shuichi gave a small smile as he opened the door and walked in. He saw Eiri at his desk, hunched over his laptop, fingers typing away. Shu frowned. "Eiri, that's terrible posture, you're going to ruin your poor back," he said, going over to Eiri. He stood behind the blonde and gently began to massage him.

Eiri let out a small moan of gratitude. It was clear to Shuichi that his lover liked being massaged. He continued while he spoke. "Eiri, are you okay?"

"What do you mean, brat?" Eiri questioned, pausing in his typing.

"Well... I mean that you seemed worried about me being okay," Shu said slowly. He was afraid of Eiri sometimes, and this was one of those times.

"I was never worried about you being okay!" Eiri snapped, his voice letting out much anger. "Now let me get back to my work, I have a deadline."

Shu held back tears as he nodded. "Okay," he said forlornly. He stopped in massaging Eiri and left the author's study with a deep frown. 'Okay, so maybe he didn't care if I was okay. But then again, that's just the way Eiri is,' Shu thought, walking to the living room.

He looked around and thought to himself, 'I think I'll see what Hiro is up to.' He went to the kitchen, to where the phone was resting in it's charger cradle. He grabbed the phone and dialed Hiro's number, walking back to the living room and sitting on the couch.

Hiro picked up after three and a half rings. "Hello?"

"Hey Hiro! It's Shuichi," the singer said into the phone with a bright smile.

"Oh, hey there Shu," the guitarist happily replied. "How are you?"

Shu hesitated for a minute, then replied with, "Oh I'm great! And what about you? Are you feeling any better than you were yesterday?" Shu asked, remembering that his friend was feeling awfully sick at work the previous day.

"Mhm. Much better, thanks for asking. So what's up? You wanna go do something?"

Shu nodded, even though Hiro couldn't see the action, and said, "Yeah if you do."

"Sure thing. Why don't I come get you and we can decide on what to do when I get there?"

"Yeah okay. I'll see you soon," Shu said to his friend, hanging up after he heard Hiro say 'goodbye'.

Shu went back to the kitchen and put the phone where it belonged. He turned his head when he heard Eiri walking into the kitchen. He watched his lover go to the 'fridge to get a beer. The blonde was paying no attention to Shu, as he took a beer out, cracked it open, then took a swig. He then walked out of the kitchen.

This caused Shu to frown as he called out to his lover, "Eiri!"

Eiri sighed and went back to the kitchen, leaning against the wall and glaring at Shuichi. "What now?"

"I, uh, just wanted to tell you that I'm going out with Hiro today."

Eiri kept he glare as he just walked out of the kitchen and back to his study. Shu was now angered. He could feel something inside him swelling up. It was a strange feeling, but he ignored it, and decided to go sit on the couch and wait for Hiroshi to arrive.

(TBC)

YWN has returned! Under a new name, because I can't remember the login info for my old account, for it was years ago. Chapters 1 through 4 are already complete, and will all be added today. Then I will start working on the rest!

Tomo loves you all!


	2. Dreams to Reality

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare  
Chapter 02: Dreams to Reality

Shuichi was walking with his friend, Hiroshi, in the park. The singer let out a small sigh and said, "Hiro, I don't know what I can do. I try so hard to please Eiri, but he just pushes me away, and shuns me..."

Hiroshi looked at his friend with a small look of sadness, but he kept a kind smile. "Shuichi," he began, "I'm sure that if Yuki knows that you love him, then things are good between you. You know that he loves you as well, even if he doesn't say it. But if he knows that you still love him, then that's all he needs. You shouldn't worry about Yuki being himself. He just has a hard time with human emotions."

Shuichi looked at his friend with his large and watery violet eyes.

"Don't cry, Shuichi. Something as silly as this doesn't deserve your tears."

Shu looked down to the ground, sniffing and saying, "You're right... Thank you, Hiro." Shu now had a small smile tugging at his lips. Hiro always had things to say about his relationship with Eiri. And the guitarist helped him understand things about having a relationship with such a grouch. And Shu knew that even though Eiri was a grouch a lot of the time, he still loved him, and he knew that Eiri loved him even if he never said it.

Hiro looked up at the sky, watching storm clouds slowly move over the city of Tokyo. He frowned slightly as a small sprinkle of rain had begun to fall. "Maybe we should go somewhere indoors," he suggested.

Shuichi nodded. "Where would you like to go?"

Hiro was about to reply to his small friend, but someone had crashed into him from behind, sending him down to the ground. A man wearing blue jeans with holes in the knees, and a zipped up leather jacket looked down at Hiro. He had short, messy and greasy looking black hair. He looked as though he hadn't shaved in a couple days too.

Hiro got up on his feet, rubbing his chin. It had a new scratch on it; red, but no blood. "You should watch where you're going," Hiro said to the man.

"I don't have time for this bullshit. I need to get out of here," the man said frantically. He then tried to quickly walk away, but Shuichi stepped in front of him, block him off.

"Not until you apologize to my friend," he said with a glare.

"I don't have time for this!" He shouted at the vocalist, pushing him out of his way. Shuichi stumbled backwards, but stayed on his feet.

This cause Hiro to get angry. He grabbed the back of the man's jacket, and pulled him back. "Come on, he was just asking for you to apologize, you don't have to be so rude to him about it."

The greasy haired man turned his head so that the could look at Hiro. He shot him a dangerous glare. He then slowly reached into the pocket of his pants, pulling out a hand gun. He clicked the safety off, pointed the gun at Hiro's head, and shot.

Hiroshi's grip had faded on the man, and he dashed off. Shuichi watched with wide eyes as his friend fell to the ground, blood pouring from his new and fatal wound.

Shuichi rushed to his friend, and fell to his knees. He pulled the top half of his friend's body up on his lap, tears building up in his violet eyes. "Hiro!"

Hiro looked up at the singer, and had a warm smile as he said, "Shuichi... You're forgetting."

Shuichi was more worried about his friend's weak voice. He knew that he wouldn't live. "What am I forgetting?" He asked.

"Life."

Shuichi woke in fright, instantly sitting up. He had beads of sweat slowly running down his forehead. Tears that were now real were building in his eyes, before they just fell, rolling down his pale face. He looked over to see Eiri, peacefully sleeping.

He pushed the blankets off of his body, and got up out of bed. He didn't notice that he was nude as he walked out into the kitchen. The clock caught his eyes. 5:30 A.M.

He grasped the phone off the charger and dialed Hiro's number from memory.

"Nngh.. Hello?" Hiro's tired voice asked.

"Hiroshi! It's Shuichi. Are you alright?! Is everything okay?!" He desperately asked.

"No! Everything isn't fine! You're calling me at five fucking thirty in the morning!"

"Hiro.. I'm sorry.. I just had an awful dream..."

Hiro sighed. "I'm sorry Shuichi. But, why don't you tell me today at work. It's Friday, so why don't you and I go have some fun tonight?"

"Friday?" He questioned. 'But, I thought that it was Saturday.. No wait... That was in my dream,' he thought to himself. He then went back to talking to Hiro. "Right, it is Friday.. Yeah, I'll see you at work later. Bye."

"Bye, Shuichi."

Shuichi hung up, and sighed, leaning against the counter. He heard shuffling coming from the bedroom. He then watched Eiri as he came into the kitchen, flipping the light on. He was wearing a robe, unlike Shuichi who still didn't notice that he was undressed. "Brat, what are you doing in the kitchen without any clothes on?" Eiri questioned.

Shuichi looked down at his showing manhood. A small blush graced his cheeks as he looked up at his lover. "I, uh, guess that I didn't notice."

"Guess not," Eiri replied, adding a shrug. "But I like it..." He walked up to the pink haired pop star, reaching his hand out. He was now holding Shuichi's chin, gazing into his eyes. He smirked as the boy slowly walked closer to him.

He then leaned down and captured Shuichi's lips with his own in a heated kiss. When Eiri pulled away from the kiss, he looked down to see that Shuichi had become hard. Just what he wanted. "Now, go get in the shower," he told Shu.

Shuichi now had both eyes of lust and pout. "But.. Eiri I-"

"I know. Just do as I say and get in the shower." He sneaked a hand down, then gently tip-toed two of his fingers down Shuichi's shaft. Eiri chuckled slightly at the small whimper coming from Shuichi, meaning that he wanted more. "If you're a good boy, I just might join you..."

At hearing this, Shuichi quickly made his way to the bathroom. Eiri chuckled as he heard the water running from the shower. He shook his head, then began to make a pot of coffee.

-

An hour and a half later, Shuichi angrily came into Eiri's study. He glared at the author, who was peacefully typing away on his laptop. "Eiri," he whined. "Why didn't you come and join me in the shower? I was a good boy!"

Eiri's fingers paused, and he looked up at the boy with a smirk. "I knew that if I said that you would be in the shower, waiting for a while. I took the opportunity to get some work done."

Shu made a pouty face as he shifted his weight onto one foot, his hand resting on his hip. "You're so cruel, Eiri!"

Eiri gazed at the boy. He was just out of the shower, with water dripping from his hair onto his bare chest. The beads slowly dripped down the slender body. A towel was loosely wrapped around his waist, teasing Eiri that it would fall. Damn. Now -he- was hard. He shook his head. "Don't you have to get to work soon?"

Shuichi smirked as he slowly walked up to Eiri. The blonde watched as with each small step, the towel teased more, by beginning to slide down the singer's body.

Eiri wanted Shuichi.

Shuichi had an evil grin as when he took another step, the towel fell to the floor. He watched Eiri gaze his body up and down. His smirked stayed as he turned around, and bent down. Eiri gazed upon the ass that he so desired.

Eiri frowned as Shuichi came back up and turned around, his penis once again hidden behind the towel. "Well, I should get ready for work," Shu said, turning and leaving.

Eiri sat there for a minute, then shouted out, "You're evil!"

All he could here were many giggles coming from his evil lover. 

(TBC)

There's chapter two, chapter three coming right away!

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo lives on Mountain Dew and Top Ramen!


	3. Leave

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare  
Chapter 03: Leave

Shuichi got in the studio, looking around the room. He saw Suguru working out a small tune on his keyboards, and Hiro talking with K. "Good morning!" He loudly and happily said to announce his arrival. The three put their eyes on him.

"Hey, Shuichi," Hiro greeted.

"Good morning," K said to Shu in English. And Suguru just gave Shu a small nod of the head.

Hiroshi looked at the smile he friend had. He couldn't help but think that something was wrong. It didn't seem right. It wasn't the same smile that the guitarist was used to. "How are you, Shu?" He asked.

"I'm great, thanks for asking!" The vocalist said with a little too much enthusiasm. Now Hiro knew that something was wrong. He decided to talk to him about it during lunch.

K then clapped his hands together and said, "Great, now lets get to work."

When the time came for an hour lunch break, Shu and Hiro had chosen to walk to a small diner that was a few blocks away.

When they arrived and were seated, Hiro quietly asked, "Shuichi, what's wrong?"

Shuichi frowned. His friend had sounded so serious that Shu knew that he couldn't lie his way out. Shu could tell by the tone of Hiro's voice that he truly could tell that something was bothering him. "I-it's not too important... I just have been having nightmares lately."

"Too lazy to go back home to mommy and crawl into bed with her?" Hiro teased.

"Hiro! It's not funny! I'm being serious here!" Shu hollered, pounding his fist on the table. Hiro frowned. Maybe it was serious...

"Shuichi, I'm sorry, I'm only joking around. So tell me, what's going on in your nightmares?"

"Well, they aren't always considered nightmares. But, in the dreams, my family, loved ones, and friends, they end up getting hurt in some way, and Eiri's nice to me, and bad things just seem to happen. Like, just last night, you were shot and killed." Shuichi paused, catching his breath. "And, it all seems so real. Not in the way that dreams seem read all the time, but in these dreams, its like I'm just really there... I feel things, smell, taste, hurt. It's creeping me out, Hiro... I ju-" But he couldn't finish his sentence, for now hot tears were draining from his eyes.

Hiro was frowning. He could see so much of Shu's sadness dwelling within his eyes. He didn't know what to say though. How could he possibly help Shuichi out with a problem that involves dreams? "I have to be honest Shuichi... I don't know what to say. I don't know how I can help you with this," he forlornly said.

"I-it's okay," Shu replied after sniffling a few times.

"But, maybe you can find some kind of psychiatrist or something like that... Maybe they could help you," Hiro suggested.

Shuichi solemnly nodded his head.

-

Shuichi opened the door to the apartment. He didn't bother calling out that he was home. He heard Eiri on the phone in the kitchen, so he made his destination the kitchen.

"Yes, talk to you then," Eiri said before hanging the phone up. He looked over at Shuichi and said, "I find it amazing that you could come home so quietly. I didn't hear you at the door."

Shuichi glared. "Well, even a person like me can be quiet and have bad days, Eiri Yuki," He said, spitting his lover's name out as though it were acid stinging his tongue. Shuichi was giving Eiri a distasteful look, as he walked to the 'fridge and grabbed one of Eiri's beers.

"Oh no you don't!" Eiri said, quickly snatching the beer from Shuichi's loose grip. "You're no-"

"Eiri! Don't be such an ass hole! Why cant you ever just crack and be nice to me for a change?" Shuichi asked. The boy's position had now change. He stood there, his weight shifted to his left foot, his right knee bent. He then had his hand rested on his right hip.

Eiri said nothing.

"Jesus Christ, Eiri!" Shuichi yelled, rubbing his temple.

"What did -I- do?!" Eiri demanded.

Shuichi went quiet. What -did- Eiri do? In all truth, nothing. So why was he yelling at him? Truth be told, not even Shuichi knew why he was yelling at his lover. He just wanted to be angry, he couldn't control it. So he replied with, "So many damn things! Jesus, Eiri! Don't you even stop and realize that you do a lot of things that -hurt- me!?"

Eiri kept his serious, uncaring, uninterested stare. "I don't have the time for this, I need to get to my book," he said, opening the beer, taking a swig and turned to walk off.

"Stop doing that!" Shu hollered. "Don't just walk away from me, Eiri! Maybe for once you could actually -talk- to me! But nooo, you just walk off and hide yourself in your fucking study! You call yourself a man? Man my ass! You're a coward who hides! You are no man!"

Eiri paused in his foot steps. "You stop right there. Who are you to say I'm not a man? And if you're so fucking sick and tired of the way I am, why don't you just leave until you can fucking appreciate what I do for you?"

"I have no problems with that. I don't see how I could appreciate what you do for me, when all you do for me is make me feel like shit," Shuichi said, tears building in his eyes. He didn't know why he was so mad at Eiri, and he didn't know what was making him do all of this.

"Then leave." And with that, Eiri walked off to his study.

Those two words were echoing in Shuichi's mind. 'Then leave.' He cringed. Eiri had said it without a care that Shu would leave. Why was that? 'He wants me to leave? Fine, I'll leave. And when I come back, he realize that he doesn't want me away from him. Maybe that will show him that he loves me, and that he should care.'

But Eiri did care. Even though the author didn't really like admitting it, he cared about Shuichi so very much. He himself didn't like how he told Shuichi to leave. In truth, he didn't want him to leave. Why had he told him to? "Sh-" He stopped himself. He was about to call out the name of his lover, but he heard the front slam shut.

'Fuck,' both Shuichi and Eiri thought.

(TBC)

Hooray for chapter three! Chapter four in a heartbeat!

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo's favorite kind of animal is a… wolf!


	4. What Is This?

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 04: What is this?

Watch him laugh, with all his cruelty. Watch him gently smile, before crushing all my love.

Why is it, that when I can only tell him how I feel, he just tells me that I am stupid, or just simply wasting my words? What is it, inside of him, that makes him so cruel? And why is it, that he has to be that what to -me-? I tell him all the time... I always let him know... That I love him. But all he gives me in return is a horrible remark.

Hiroshi says that he believes that Eiri really does love me; even if he never says it. But if Eiri -does- love me, then why wont he let me know? It makes no sense at all.

Damn.

Why did I have to leave like that? Why couldn't I have done what I always do? Just deal with it and wait for Eiri to be in a better mood. But it's so hard!

Maybe I should just rest for a little while. Yeah, I'll just rest my head down on this pillow here.

So nice of Hiro to let me stay with him for a while...

-

"Shuichi?"

"Nng... Go away! I'm tired," Shuichi whined in response.

"Shuichi. Wake up."

"Eiri?" Shuichi opened his eyes and sat up on the couch. He blinked a couple times to focus his vision. He looked up at Eiri, an expression of worry on his tired face.

"Eiri?" He questioned. Eiri let out a sigh, then kneeled down to capture Shu's lips in a soft kiss.

When the writer pulled away, he said, "You know that I'm not very good with saying how I feel, and shit like that."

Shuichi nodded, smiling up at his lover. "Yes, I know," he said in reply.

Though words were soon forgotten, as the two were lost in another kiss. This time though, Eiri was a little more forceful.

-

Soon, Shuichi found himself under Eiri's naked form, moaning softly from Eiri's light kisses down his neck.

"No, Eiri," Shu told him. "We can't do this on Hiro's couch." Eiri shook his head. And made a shushing noise. He continued to lay his soft kisses down Shuichi's small body. "Eiri," Shu whined. "Why can't we just go home to do this?"

"Quiet, Shuichi," Eiri whispered in his lover's ear. Shu has chills up his spine from it.

"But we don't have any lube, it'll hurt too much without it. So let's just get out clothes on and do this at home. Please?"

But Eiri just chose to ignore Shuichi's words. Shuichi made whining noises, closing his eye's tightly, trying to be quiet and let Eiri do what he wanted.

Soon, Shuichi's legs were up on Eiri's shoulders, and Shuichi just knew that he was going to be in pain soon. And soon was sooner than he thought, as he felt Eiri's erect cock pushed into his body. Shu couldn't help but yelp out in pain. It really hurt!

"Eiri, please don't! It hurts!"

Memories of when Eiri had first decided to take Shuichi fled into Eiri's mind. How he whined, telling him to stop. But he pushed those thoughts away so he could think of Shuichi, and only Shuichi.

To Shu's surprise, it got much more gentle. He didn't understand why, but it was nice. Feeling Eiri move in and out of him was a delight. He'd missed this over the time he and Eiri we fighting, even though it really wasn't that long.

A loud moan of pleasure passed through Shu's lips as his forceful orgasm hit. He heard Eiri moan quietly.

"Shuichi, you need to get up, you'll be late," Eiri told him. Shuichi gave him a look of confusion.

"What?" He asked.

"You're going to be late for work, Shu. Come on, wake up."

Shuichi's eyes snapped open as he was looking up at Hiroshi. "Hiro?" He asked.

Hiro smiled down at his friend. "Geeze, Shuichi. Having a good dream that you didn't want to wake up from?"

"Good dream indeed," Shuichi mumbled quietly.

Hiro ignored the remark. "Well, get dressed and lets go."

-

"It just seems that in my dreams he's getting to be a lot more kind to me. I like the dream Eiri a lot... Y'know?"

"So your nightmares are turning into what you want your life to be like?"

"I guess that's a way to explain it," Shuichi said, then sighed before continuing. "It seems more like my -real- life is a nightmare!" He was joking, and to show it he laughed a little.

Hiro just shook his head. "When's Suguru coming back?" He questioned, looking over at the clock. "He said he'd be gone for five minutes... It's been fifteen."

Shuichi shrugged. "Maybe he got caught up in something," he suggested. Suguru then came in the room.

"I got caught up in nothing," the boy snapped angrily.

"Okay, then where were you?" Hiro asked, tuning his guitar up idly. Suguru scoffed and didn't answer. Shuichi looked from Suguru to Hiro.

"Let's just work on the song," Shuichi suggested with a nervous smile. Both Hiro and Suguru nodded quietly in agreement. "Good," Shu said.

"Though, I did get an idea for you Shuichi," Suguru said quietly, pulling out a piece of paper from his folder. "On the lyrics... I was looking over the chorus last night, and thought maybe it would be a good idea to change something."

Shuichi stood up and walked up behind Suguru, looking down at the sheet. It was the lyrics for their newest song, 'Poisoned Kiss'.

Suguru pointed to a line. "I think you should change, 'It's a poison I love and want. I long for your kisses, while hoping to survive your poison.' to 'The addictive poison is what I want, and I long for your kisses, while hoping I will see the light of tomorrow.' What do you think?"

Shuichi had an irritated look. He had never liked when Suguru had ideas to change lyrics. Especially when Suguru's sounded better. "Do whatever you want. I don't care."

Both Hiroshi and Suguru looked at their friend with a hint of shock. Usually Shu and Suguru would end up in an argument, Hiro pulling them apart.

Shuichi walked out of the studio, and walked through the halls of N-G. 'It doesn't matter. They can do what they want with the song. I don't feel like doing anything with it.'

Ryuichi was skipping through the hall, holding tightly onto his Kumagorou. He was also singing a bright and happy tune. Though he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Shuichi. "Eh? Shuichi! What's wrong?"

Shuichi stopped in his tracks. "Oh. Hi Ryuichi," Shuichi said with no tone in his voice.

"Hm? Are you okay? You don't look good, na no da!"

"I'm fine. I just need to go take a nap or something."

"Oh! Well, Tohma is sending me home. Kuma-chan was a very bad bunny!" Ryu said, holding his Kumagorou up, looking at it with a glare. "I told you not to play with Tohma-kun's things! Bad Kuma-chan!" He scolded. He then looked back to his pink haired friend. "You can come take a nap at my house if you want!"

"I'd like that," Shu mumbled, turning to leave the N-G building. Ryu quickly began following his friend. "And when you wake up, we can play video games! Pika pika na no da!"

Shuichi usually would have smiled at his older friend, but not this time. Ryu knew something was bothering the younger man. At this, his attitude changed. He said in a very serious tone, "Shuichi-kun, what is it that's bothering you?"

"It's nothing, Ryu," Shu told him. "Nothing's bothering me." But Ryuichi shook his head.

"I know it's something. You're not glowing today."

Shuichi looked up at his friend with tears in his eyes. "Oh Ryuichi! It was Eiri! He was so me-" But Shu stopped, his eyelids starting to fall. He crashed to the floor, unconscious.

-

"Shuichi. Come on! Wakey, wakey!" Ryuichi called into Shu's ear. Shuichi woke, and looked up at Ryuichi.

"Before you ask the cliche, 'Where am I?' you're in my house in Tokyo," Ryuichi told him. Shuichi smiled up at his friend.

"Thanks, Ry-"

Ryu cut him off, "I called Yuki-san. He's using the toilet right now. He'll be out in a minute. He was really worried about you and came here right away."

"Eiri's here?" Shuichi asked.

Ryuichi nodded. "Hai! I called him and he sounded worried, na no da! So he came here as fast as he could, and he was also being a big meanie! He said bad words to me!"

Shuichi smiled slightly. "Thanks for calling him. I re-"

"Get up and lets leave, brat." Shuichi looked up and saw Eiri standing there.

"Oh... Eiri. I'm so-"

"I told you to get up." Shuichi nodded and got up. He smiled at Ryuichi and then left with the author. When they left Ryuichi apartment, Eiri's arm wrapped around Shuichi's waist and the taller man brought the smaller one closer to him.

Shuichi looked up at his lover as he thought, 'Is this a dream or not?'

(TBC)

Alright, all the past chapters have been added, and now I'm off to work on a whole NEW chapter! Hooray! I wrote this long ago so I didn't do very long chapters, but the size should increase now. Yay!

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo's favorite color is purple!


	5. Embrace

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Warning: Contains yaoi. If you don't like yaoi… Then why are you in the Gravitation category?

Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 05: Embrace

Eiri and Shu walked into their apartment together. Shuichi kicked out of his shoes hastily, as Eiri calmly removed his own with no hurry. The blonde man watched as his lover walked slowly to the kitchen. Shuichi had a very forlorn expression, when usually he would be bouncy and hyperactive at the return to Eiri and the apartment. Eiri paid it no mind as he followed to investigate Shuichi's actions.

The pink-haired man was looking through the 'fridge. "Hungry?" Eiri asked as he stepped behind Shu to see what they had in the refrigerator. "I could make something, seeing as how you suck at cooking."

Shuichi closed the door of the refrigerator. "Fine," he said in a quiet voice. Eiri watched as the vocalist walked away and out of the kitchen. The blonde shrugged and began to rummage through their food supplies.

Meanwhile, Shuichi went to the bedroom. He flicked on the light and stared at the large, inviting bed. 'If I am dreaming… I must be lying down… Right there…' he thought as he walked to the bed and touched the silk sheets. There were wrinkles in the sheet in the places both he and his lover slept. Shuichi's pale hand ran over the cold black silk, trying to feel his own body in the bed. 'Maybe I'm not dreaming,' he thought. 'Maybe…'

The boy's thoughts were interrupted by Eiri's calming voice. "Would you rather go out to eat? The rare question rung through Shu's head. "Brat?"

"Oh… It must be real then," Shuichi said, turning to face Eiri. "It is, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about? Do you want to go out to eat or not?" Eiri asked.

"NO! If we do… If it's real… I don't want you to get hurt!" Shuichi yelled, tears beginning to fill his eyes. The small boy fell to his knees, the wood floor hitting them hard. He hid his face into his cupped hands and began to cry.

Eiri could do nothing but stand there, mystified at Shuichi's behavior. "Get off the floor," he managed to say. Shuichi did nothing but continue to cry. "Hey, brat. Get off the damn floor."

Shuichi's sobs echoed through the almost empty bedroom. "I don't know anymore!" he shouted though his tears. He began to cough, and was gasping for air between his hacks. Eiri sighed and went to his lover. He knelt down, scooped up the smaller boy in his arms and placed him down on the bed.

Shuichi immediately went into a fetal position, crying into his now red knees. Eiri pulled the big comforter over his lover and sat down next to him. He listened to the painful bawling of his Shu. What was he supposed to do? How could he comfort the brat? He wasn't very good at that mushy stuff, despite his chosen career.

"Shu," he said calmly and affectionately. Shuichi's sobs quieted down, and the boy seemed to calm down a little at the soothing voice of Eiri Yuki. "I don't know what's bothering you… But…" he paused, looking down at the boy with a very serious look.

Shu peeked his face out and looked up to Eiri. "Y-yeah?"

"Get over it."

Shuichi started to cry hard once more. Eiri sighed and just watched. As time rolled on, Shuichi stopped crying. It had taken him an hour, but Eiri sat there next to him the whole time, which Shu was aware of, and he appreciated it. The vocalist slowly sat up and looked down at the bed with puffy eyes and a red nose, a bit of snot escaping from his left nostril. He sniffled it back up into his nose and remained quiet.

"Your head must hurt after all that…" was all Yuki said to him.

Shuichi slowly got up off the bed and made his way to the toilet. After a few seconds, Eiri could hear the sounds of Shuichi hacking and then throwing up. He cringed. 'He better not get vomit all over my floor…' Eiri got up and walked to the open door of the toilet. He looked down at his lover and felt sad. He came up behind him and knelt down. Despite the fact that Shu had short hair, Eiri felt the need to help him keep it out of his face.

Eiri could feel the small boy shaking as he was gasping for oxygen. "Mouthwash," Shu murmured. Eiri removed his hands from his lover and got up. He opened the medicine cabinet above the sink and pulled out a bottle of Shuichi's desired item. He handed it to the boy who took it with shaking hands. Shu opened the bottle and began to pour the stinging liquid into his mouth and down his throat.

"Don't swallow it!" Eiri yelled, grabbing the bottle away from Shuichi. However since the bottle was upside down gushing out liquid into Shuichi's open mouth, mouthwash began to flow out and splash over Shuichi's head, down his back, and then to the floor before Eiri had the chance to flip the bottle over.

"Damn it, Shuichi," Eiri sighed as he looked at the new mess of minty freshness. "Come on, you need a shower," he said as he put the bottle down and held and hand out to his lover. The boy took the hand and Eiri pulled him up to his feet. He led Shu to the shower and opened the sliding door. He let go of Shuichi's hand and started the water up. He knew Shuichi liked his showers to be warm, but not too hot so he was very fussy with the knobs as he tried to get a good temperature.

When the water was warm enough, he looked to Shuichi. The boy was staring down at the floor with no emotion in his usually highly animated face. "Take your clothes off," Eiri ordered. Shuichi slowly started to strip, and handed Eiri the clothes. The blonde left the bathroom and went to put the clothes in the hamper. He then removed his own clothes and tossed them in the hamper as well.

Eiri came back into the bathroom and saw Shuichi through the sliding door of the shower. The boy was standing under the water, his back facing to the flow so he could get the now sticky residue of the mouthwash off. Eiri slid the door open and stepped in.

"Eiri?" Shu asked, looking to his lover. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking a shower with you," came the monotone response.

"Oh…"

"Hey," Eiri said after a few moment of silence.

"Yeah?"

"What do you dream about at night?" He asked, taking a bar of soap. He motioned with a circling finger for Shu to turn around. When the pink-haired boy had his back to Eiri, he could feel his lover washing his back very gently.

"I don't know," was Shuichi's answer to the question.

"You mean you don't remember your dreams?" Eiri asked as he soaped up Shuichi's back. He ran a smooth hand in circles over Shu's back, allowing the soap to fulfill its mission.

"No…"

"Then what?"

"I... I don't know what is a dream… And what isn't. I'm loosing that line that distinguishes reality from dreams." Eiri was silent as he started to soap up Shuichi's arms. "Right now, even… I don't know if this is my real life as Shuichi Shindou, or if I'm back in our bed sleeping… Dreaming…"

"You're not dreaming, Shuichi," came Eiri's reply. "This is real life." Shuichi said nothing. "Embrace it."

Shu quickly turned around to face Eiri. "What?!"

"I –said-… Embrace it. Embrace life." Eiri could see Shuichi's eyes swelling up with tears once more.

"You're right… You're right!" Eiri could hear the familiar hint of happiness in his lover's voice once more. "Eiri!" Shuichi exclaimed as he latched onto the blonde man with a tight hug. Eiri dropped the soap in surprise, but after a few seconds he wrapped his arms around Shuichi.

-

Shuichi was on the bed, his rear end in the air, feeling the cool sensation of lube being applied to his anus. He giggled a little as Eiri's fingers were slightly tickling him. The giggling soon stopped as he felt Eiri's length slam into him. Shu yelped out in surprise, and soon was breathing heavily as his lover pounded in and out of his tight hole.

Eiri was up on his knees, looking down at Shuichi's curved back. The blonde was never too much of an intimate lover. His focus was usually on his main job, never other things he could be doing. He decided to change this for tonight. As he pushed himself in and out of Shu, he leaned down forward and began to lay soft kisses on Shuichi's soft back. Eiri could tell that the boy enjoyed this as he listened to the moans he was producing.

-

As the night went on, Eiri and Shuichi spent a few intimate hours together. The whole apartment echoed with Shu's deep moans. When the two had finished, Eiri rolled over and flopped down on his side of the bed. He looked at his lover who was on his back, sweating, and had a grin from ear to ear.

"Feel better?" Eiri asked. Shu nodded and scooted closer to the blonde. He laid his head down on Eiri's chest and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, Yuki."

"Night."

Eiri kept an eye on Shuichi through the night. He wasn't able to sleep because he was concerned about his loved one.

-

Shuichi was walking down a quiet road lit by orange colored streetlights. His body shivered as a cool wind blew past him. "This isn't right," he muttered. "Now I know that I'm definitely dreaming…"

"Dreams, reality… What's the difference?" Came Yuki's voice. "Aren't they pretty much the same thing?"

Shu looked around, but couldn't see his lover anywhere. "No… They're totally different," he said with a shaky tone. "…Right?"

"Think whatever the fuck you want. But that's just so you, Shindou," called out Suguru's voice. "You never want to see things how they really are. You just are so full of yourself that you create your own truth about life."

"You create your own reality," said K. "You're too blind to see what's really there. We hand you an apple and you see an orange. We offer you support, but you take it as an insult. You're a blind, naïve, reckless brat."

Shuichi looked all around him. He was totally alone, but all these voices echoed out to him.

"Stop letting your self bleed, Shuichi," said Hiro.

Shuichi examined his body. "I'm not… Bleeding…"

"It's a metaphor, you damn brat," commented Eiri. "He means you're letting everything mesh together when you shouldn't."

"At least you have an intelligent lover who can see what you're doing to yourself," laughed Suguru.

"What do you mean?! What am I doing to myself?!" Shu called out.

"Forgetting," Eiri, Suguru, Hiro and K said together.

"Shuichi!"

Shu woke in a fright and saw Eiri looking down at him. "Huh?"

"You were talking in your sleep," Eiri explained. "Were you having another bad dream?"

"No…" Shuichi sat up and looked to his lover. "Am I forgetting something?"

"What? How should I know? I don't keep track of your entire life." Shu frowned at Eiri's reply.

"I have to remember…"

(TBC)

There, chapter five. I figure it must seem kind of weird and confusing, but it will make sense when it's all done. I promise! Don't hurt me! I should have chapter six up by Monday or Tuesday. If I don't, THEN you can hurt me!

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo is eating 'Nilla Wafers right now!


	6. Seeking Help

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 06: Seeking Help

Shuichi waltzed into the studio where Hiro was tuning up his guitar. "Good morning, Hiroshi!" Shu exclaimed. The guitarist looked up and smiled at Shuichi.

"Good morning," he replied. Hiro placed his guitar down and grabbed an aluminum can, taking a sip from it. "You seem awfully chipper today."

"Well, you know how it goes. Depressed one day, happy the next!" Shu said as he took a seat next to his friend. "Say, Hiro?"

Hiro placed his drink down and grabbed his guitar to go back to tuning it. Shu took the drink and began to sip at it. "Hm?" the guitarist inquired.

Shuichi looked at his friend over the rim of the can. "Am I forgetting something?" He asked into the mouth hole, causing his voice to sound a little funky. "Anything… Important?"

Hiro chuckled. "Of course you are." Shu's eyes widened and he placed the can down to put more focus on Hiroshi. "You're always forgetting something or other, Shuichi. You're just a scatter brain."

Shu frowned. "Well that's no help to me at all."

"Good morning, Shindou… Nakano," said the calm voice of Suguru as he walked in with a manila folder bundled in his arm, hugged up against his chest. "You're actually here on time?" He asked, obviously directed to Shuichi. The vocalist frowned a little, but decided not to reply. He knew that would only fuel Suguru to badger him about his punctuality.

"Shuichi isn't always late," Hiro said idly.

'Damnit, Hiro,' Shu thought.

"That's not saying much considering he's only ever on time maybe once or twice a month," Suguru replied with an annoyed look. "But never mind that. We've got a lot of work to do."

Shu and Hiro nodded, knowing not to annoy the boy with their 'all work and no play' speech, since they –did- have to start recordings for their newest CD, which was to be released in a couple months.

-

"Typically, I don't give advice to someone that is for their lover, Uesugi-san," said a woman with short hair and rounded glasses.

Eiri sat in his psychiatrist's office, glaring at the woman. "I know that. Nevertheless, I'm worried about that damn brat. It's affecting me personally, so do your damn job."

"Uesugi-san, what I can offer to you is to have Shindou-san make an appointment with me. I can talk with him personally and if he chooses to express to you what may be happening in his own mind, he can share it with you. Remember an important little word called 'confidentiality', Uesugi-san?" The woman adjusted her glasses and swiveled a little in her chair as she leaned back.

"That damn brat would never come in to see a damn shrink," Eiri sighed.

"Uesugi-san… It's worth a try."

Eiri remained quiet for a couple minutes. "I'll talk to him," he said before grabbing his coat and leaving.

-

Shuichi came home to hear soft classical music playing. The whole apartment was very dim, and the main light source was coming from the dinning table. Candles were lit, and the smell of something delicious drifted by Shu's nose. "Eiri?" He called out.

"In the kitchen," came the grunt of a reply. Shu skipped his way to the kitchen and saw his lover standing over the stove. "I made you dinner. You look thin these days, so I thought I'd make you a nice big meal."

Shu's eyes began to water. "Oh, Eiri!" He bounced over to Eiri and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Thank you!"

"Just go sit down. It's ready," Eiri said as he went to grab some dishes. Shuichi did as he was told and took his seat at the table. Eiri came out and placed a large plate filled with food. He placed another plate down at his seat and sat down. The two silently dug into their meal.

After moments of silence, Eiri spoke up. "So I talked to my psychiatrist today."

"Oh yeah?" Shu asked with a mouth full of food.

"I think you should see her. Set up an appointment, you know?" Eiri picked at his food and refused to look up to see his lover's reaction.

"Why?"

"I…" Eiri shoveled food into his mouth and swallowed it hard after over chewing it. "I am worried about you," he said quietly after he forced his food down.

Shu stopped eating and stared at Eiri. He was pretty much speechless. Was Eiri really showing concern or interest in his life? Other than fucking, that is. "Eiri…"

"You don't have to tell me about it if you go. You can just get yourself some help seeing as how I wouldn't be able to. And I won't ask her what's going on. I'll just leave it as your business. I just want you to get help. That's all." Eiri continued to eat, and not once did he look up at Shuichi. He finished his plate and stood up. "Just tell me if you want me to set you up an appointment or not." He grabbed his plate and started to walk to the kitchen. "Maybe you can remember what it is that you're forgetting."

-

Shuichi was lying awake in bed. He stared up at the ceiling, nothing but the gentle and cute sounds of Eiri snoring filling his ears. He turned his head to look at his peaceful lover. 'Therapy?' He questioned. 'Would it help me at all?' As carefully as he could, Shu got up out of bed. He walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer. He moved around some underwear and socks that belonged to Eiri. Underneath it all, there laid Eiri's gun. Shu looked down at it and stroked a finger over it.

"Shuichi."

Shu turned and could barely see, but the moonlight was bright enough for him to see Eiri sitting up in bed. He pulled his hand out of the drawer and quickly closed it. "Yes?"

"Are you sniffing my underwear again? You know those are all clean, right?" Eiri asked, rubbing his own head, ruffling up his hair a bit.

"Y-yeah… I know that. I was just…"

"Come back to bed."

Shuichi sighed and walked back to the bed. He sat down and pulled the comforter up over his body. He laid down and turned away from Eiri. "Eiri?"

"Hm?"

"Will you set me up an appointment? For as soon as possible?"

"Yeah."

The two stayed quiet after that, soon falling back asleep.

-

Shuichi woke up to the sound of a ringing phone. He opened his eyes and saw his cell phone glowing colors on the nightstand as it let out a high-pitched tune. He grabbed it, looked at the ID and answered it. "Hiro?" he asked sleepily.

"Shuichi, why aren't you here? It's noon!"

Shu blinked a couple times and looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. He couldn't read what the numbers read, but trusted that it was noon. "Shit! I'll be there soon!" He ended the call and jumped out of bed. He threw on whatever clothes he could find and headed out the door.

-

When Shuichi arrived to the studio, Suguru was standing there with his arms crossed. "Shindou!"

"Don't fucking start with me, Suguru. I know I'm late. So spare me the lecture because that will just take more time out of our day!"

Suguru blinked a couple times, and he said nothing in reply to Shuichi's outburst.

-

Come time for a break, Shuichi sat down with Hiro as Suguru went out of the room. "Eiri wants me to see his shrink," Shu stated idly.

"What? Why? Are you going to?"

Shu nodded. "Yeah, I am. He's worried about me…"

"Shu, you do stuff like this all the time. Just like you said yesterday. One day you're depressed and the next you're happy."

The vocalist shook his head. "It's not like that this time. It's really… Different."

"Are you sure that you want to do that, Shuichi?"

"Yeah, I am."

-

"Your appointment is tomorrow at one-thirty. I'll pick you up from the studio and take you there. I have to do some shopping for groceries, so I'll do that while you're there. Then we can come back home and I'll make you something to eat. We can even rent a movie and watch it together… If you want."

Shuichi looked over to Eiri who was sitting in front of his laptop. "That sounds good," Shu replied as he stared blankly at the television, which was playing a Nittle Grasper video.

"Come on, let's go to bed. It's late," Eiri said as he closed his laptop. He got up, turned the T.V. off, and held a hand out to Shu. The vocalist took the hand and was helped up, then led to the bedroom.

-

Once more, Shuichi found himself looking down at the gun in the dresser drawer. He looked back at Eiri who was sound asleep. He grabbed the gun and walked out of the bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, Eiri woke to the sound of what he firmly believed was a gunshot. He sat up and looked to Shuichi's side of the bed. He wasn't there. "Shuichi!" He called out as he got out of bed and ran towards the bathroom, which the door to was closed.

(TBC)

Sorry that it was late. I was feeling so sick, ended up going to a party for a friend's birthday, then was sleeping all day and throwing up. Heh. But now I'm better, and ready to write, write, write! I hope you enjoyed. Chapter seven should be up soon! I hope you're still enjoying it!

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo's favorite food is fresh water eel! (Unagi)


	7. Breaking Down

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 07: Breaking Down

Shuichi found himself sitting in an office reeking of strong perfume, hairspray, and coffee. He sneezed into his hand and sniffled. "Excuse me," he said in a weak voice. All he heard in response was the sound of someone carefully sipping at a hot cup of coffee. Shuichi felt very nervous. He had never been in a shrink's office before. He had never talked to one, either. He wasn't sure what sort of things he should say, or how he should begin. Was he supposed to just start taking or would she begin? He wasn't even very sure of her name.

Shuichi could hear the sound of a pencil tapping on a hard surface. Was she waiting for him to start talking? He tried to convince himself to look up from his lap to see the expression on her face. He simply continued to stare at his tan shorts, starting to feel the build up of sweat on his palms.

"So, Shindou-san," the woman said in an idle voice. "I hear from Uesugi-san that you have been having troubles with distinguishing reality from dreams?"

"I'm not crazy. I'm not sick either!" Shuichi was defending himself rather hastily. The psychiatrist's eyes widened, and she wrote something down before clearing her voice to speak.

"I made no such accusation, Shindou-san. But why would you be so defensive when I simply tried to get your approval on what is wrong?"

"I don't like that question," Shuichi mumbled.

There was about five minutes of silence before Shuichi stood up. "I don't think this is right for me, I'm going to leave now."

Without hearing the woman's response, Shu grabbed his backpack and left the room. He ran down the hall to the elevator. He mashed the button to send him down. When the elevator doors open, the vocalist ran in and pounded on the first floor button. When he reached the first floor, he ran out as soon as the doors were wide enough. He ran through the front doors and out onto the side walk. He dug around in his pockets for his cell phone to call Eiri.

Shu fumbled with his phone as soon as it was removed from his shorts. He opened up his address book and shakily found Eiri's cell number. Usually Shuichi wouldn't bother to call Eiri because he knew the blonde wouldn't answer. But since this was the day of his appointment, he was reassured that Eiri would answer, just incase anything went wrong.

Shuichi counted the number of rings inside his head. '1… 2… 3… 4…'

"Shuichi?" Came the soothing sound of Eiri's voice. "Is everything okay? It's only been fifteen minutes."

"Eiri, please, please come pick me up. I ran out of her office and right out of the building."

"Did you even talk to her about anything?" Eiri asked in an irate tone.

"N-no. I couldn't, I didn't want to."

"I'm out shopping for groceries."

"I can wait."

Shu heard the ever so familiar sound of Eiri sighing. "No, I'll be right there. I'll just make you come shipping with me."

"Okay," Shu ended the call and pocketed his cell phone.

Come ten minutes later, he saw Eiri's black Mercedes pull up by the side walk. The pink-haired boy ran to the car and got in as quickly as he could. "Thank you, Eiri," he said as he closed the door and buckled his seat belt.

"It's fine," Eiri replied as he drove off. "I got a couple things from the market, but I figure it's enough for tonight. You're probably a bit freaked out and want to just get home and rest. We can still rent a movie if you want to."

"No, I just want to get home and sleep."

-

As soon as Shuichi entered the apartment, he went straight to the bed. He let himself fall onto it, his eyes closed as soon as he hit the sheets.

---

Eiri went to open the bathroom door, which was locked. "Shuichi!" He screamed. Eiri was so nervous after hearing that gunshot. If anything happened to his lover, he just didn't know what he would do. But he would never admit something like that. With so much built up worry, Eiri kicked in the door without thinking. He looked down to the floor and saw his bloody lover sitting in the corner. "Shuichi…"

A bullet wound flushed blood out of Shuichi's body from his head. His hair was covered in drying red blood, and the liquid was beginning to travel down his neck and to his shirt to forever stain it. Shuichi's large eyes looked up at Eiri.

To Eiri's fortunate surprise, Shuichi was still alive. But… How? He wondered. Eiri knelt down to his lover, trying his hardest not to cry. "What were you thinking you idiot?!"

"I'm… Still alive?" Shu asked. He looked down at the cold gun which was still in his hand. "Well… That's just not right… Not right at all…" Shu's slender arm then began to reach up, the gun aimed once again at his head.

"SHUICHI, NO!" Eiri cried out as he tried to grab the gun from his lover's now bloody hand. It was too late. Another bullet went flying into Shuichi's head. However, the boy did not fall dead. He had wide eyes, which stared down at the gun he dropped into his lap.

"What?" Shuichi questioned as he looked up to Eiri with tears in his eyes.

"You fucking moron! Why the fuck would you shot yourself in the damn head?! TWICE?!"

"Why wont I die?"

Shuichi woke to the sound of Eiri entering the bedroom. "Eiri?"

"How hard is it for you to remember, you damn brat?"

"What? Eiri what are you saying?" Shuichi questioned as he sat up. "You said you would leave me alone with stuff like this…"

"He just wants you to remember so that you stop being such a nuisance to all of us," came another voice.

Shuichi looked to his side to see Ryuichi Sakuma.

"Sakuma-san?"

"Stop forgetting, Shuichi."

Shuichi felt a sharp scream leave his mouth, and then the feeling of a hand touching his face. His eyes flashed opened and he was looking up at Eiri. "STOP DOING THIS!" he shouted, pushing Eiri out of the way as he got up out of bed.

Eiri watched as his lover ran out of the bedroom, and then out of the apartment.

(TBC)

Sorry that it took so long for the update. I'm currently in California (I live in Oregon) visiting my mother, because she just had a baby girl!

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo's new baby sister's name is Marissa! (Rissa for short.)


	8. False Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 08: False Memories

Shuichi looked down to his ringing phone. The caller ID on the screen read 'Eiri'. Shu sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. He listened to his ring tone die out as he waited for the crosswalk to change. When it did, he and a large crowd of people forced their way to the other side of the street.

'They're all walking like mindless sheep. Even me,' he thought. 'Each one has their mind set on what they need to be doing, where they need to go. I wonder how many of them have other thoughts on their mind. Everything just seems like a script. No room for any imagination, no paraphrasing, and no random spur of the moment situations. They take it all for granted, it seems… But who am I to think that? It's just the same for me most of the time…' Shuichi stopped once he reached the other side of the street. He looked around and wondered where he should actually go. In truth he was just so freaked out that he ran. He had nowhere he really wanted to be.

Off in the distance he could hear a mother scolding her child. He turned and glanced around to spot them. Once he did he sat in silence and watched.

"What did I tell you?!" Screamed the mother. A young girl looked up to her infuriated parent and began to cry. "I told you not to, but you did! You always forget!"

When Shu heard those words he could feel his eyes start to swell with tears. He shook his head and ran off into a random direction. He had to get away from those words. It was as though they followed him wherever he went. It seemed like every day he heard those words, and not soon after…

The vocalist was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the sound of his phone ringing again. 'God damnit! Why?' He cursed within his head as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. It was Eiri again. Shu wondered why his lover was being so persistent, when usually if the singer would run out of the apartment, Eiri would be relieved.

As much as he wanted to answer the call, for reasons unknown to him he simply shoved his phone back into his pocket. He looked up into the darkening sky and watched as gray clouds began to fill up the sky like little puzzle pieces. Worried about a downpour of rain, Shuichi looked in which direction he should head. He could go back to Eiri, he could go to Hiro… That was pretty much it for him. Those were the only two people he could feel truly comfortable with.

Shuichi closed his eyes and made a mental image of a coin flipping. 'Heads, Hiro. Tails, Eiri,' he thought as he watched his imagination coin drop. When it landed, he tried to encrypt which side it landed on, but saw nothing but a blank coin. He opened his eyes and sighed as he watched so many people pass him by. 'They all know where they're going… Why don't I?' He asked himself.

Shuichi was startled at the sound of his phone ringing once more. 'Eiri…' He thought as he fished the phone out of his pocket. He looked down to see who was calling him. "Ryuichi?" He asked out loud. 'Should I answer?'

A shaky hand pressed the green acceptance button on the phone. Shu slowly lifted the phone up to his ear. "Hello?" He asked, noting the fact that it was cold enough for him to see his own breath.

"Shu-chan?" Came the excited voice of Shuichi's idol.

"Yeah?" He questioned, turning and looking into the direction he would have to walk to get to the brunette man's home. 'Maybe…'

"What are you doing? I was wondering if you wanted to go out and eat with me!" Came Ryu's purpose of the call.

Shuichi stayed silent as he looked down at his stomach. "Um… Sure, I could go for some food about now. What did you have in mind?"

"The ramen house!" Came the quickest response Shu had ever heard.

"Heh, sure… I'll meet you there?"

"Okay! See you!"

Shuichi ended the call and put his phone in his pants pocket. He looked down at his feet. "Well feet, let's get walking. It's not too far…" Shuichi ignored the odd looks he was receiving as he made his way to the ramen house.

-

Shuichi walked into the warm little restaurant and sneezed quietly. It had begun to rain on his way over, and he had no umbrella. "Shuichi!" Came the excited cry of Ryuichi.

Shu faintly smiled as he walked over to the small booth Ryu had pick out. He sat down across from his friend and laughed nervously. "Hi, Ryuichi."

"Now that you're here, we can order!" Ryu exclaimed as he bounced up and down on his seat.

If this were any other time, Shuichi knew he would be happy to have a meal with Ryuichi Sakuma. But his mind was so filled with everything else that had been going on with him that he just couldn't find the pleasure in being with his idol.

Shuichi saw as a man came to take their orders. He fidgeted a bit and as the man came up with a smile, and asked what they would like, a thought hit Shuichi. The vocalist stood up quickly. He turned to Ryuichi. "Please excuse me!" He said frantically before running out of the restaurant.

Shuichi's feet were carrying the boy back home as fast as they could. He could feel the stings of tears attack his eyes, which didn't matter to him, for as soon as they fell they melded with the rain that was hitting him in the face. The sound of his phone came into his ears once more. He didn't even bother to look at who was calling. It really didn't matter to him right now. All he cared about was getting home to Eiri.

When Shuichi arrived to the apartment, he busted through the door and was in search of Eiri. He found the man sitting in his study, smoking a cigarette. Shu noticed the huge mound of butts in the ashtray. "Eiri…" He said with a sad tone.

"Shuichi," Eiri said as he stood up and smashed his cigarette in with all the butts, causing a few to fall down to the desk. "Where the hell did you go, you damn brat? I tried calling you and you never answered the damn phone. I was wo-" Eiri stopped talking and just glared at his lover.

"Eiri, why didn't I die? Why am I totally fine from the other day? Why don't you even talk about it?" Shu asked, tears running down his face.

"What are you… Talking about?" Eiri asked.

"When I ran into the bathroom! When you came barging in! Don't you remember? You found me, shooting myself in the head!"

Eiri thought for a moment, then looked down at Shuichi. "No. That's not right. You were in the bathroom crying because of something… I left to go to the store, Shu… I called you and you didn't answer. I came home and found you… You've got the story mixed up. There are a couple other… details that you're… forgetting."

Shuichi and Eiri stared at one another in pure silence for at least five minutes before the sound of Shuichi's phone ringing was all that could be heard.

Shuichi fell to his knees and cried quietly.

(TBC)

Zomg, what's goin' on you guuuuys? I'm trying my best to leave subtle hints as to what really is happening. It's kind of hard, hahaha. I'm just hoping you've picked up on something important! Hahaha, See you in the next chapter!

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo's is 17, and moved out of her mom's house a couple months ago.

(Man, those facts are kind of random. But I guess some readers like to know a little about the author.)


	9. Seeing Into the Future

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 09: Seeing Into the Future

"Get up off of the floor," Eiri told Shuichi with a sigh. "You have no reason to be crying right now."

Shuichi looked up at his lover with eyes that shone from all the tears he had cried. "But, Eiri!" He protested, "Something is going on, and I don't know what!" He started to cry more. "Apparently you don't either!" Shuichi looked into Eiri's eyes, which were holding his usual cold expression. "Eiri…"

Eiri leaned down and placed a hand on Shuichi's face. "You're wrong, Shu. _You're _the one who isn't quite sure of what's going on. Don't worry, though. You'll figure it all out eventually. In the mean time," he paused and gave Shuichi a tiny smile. "You'll have my support."

Shuichi looked at the smile Eiri was offering him and returned it with his own. He nodded and wiped his face with his sleeve. "Yeah…" He giggled a little and spring towards Eiri, wrapping his arms around his neck. "You're right!" He said gleefully. Eiri put his arms around Shu and ran one of his hands up and down the younger man's back.

Shuichi quickly opened eyes to see his bedroom ceiling. He turned to the side and looked at Eiri. The blonde man was adjusting his glasses as he read a book by the light of the morning sun. Eiri looked over to Shuichi when he noticed the movement. "Good morning," he said as he placed a bookmarker in his book, setting it down next to him on the bed. "How did you sleep?"

Shuichi gave Eiri a faint smile. "Fine," he said as he ran a hand through his messy hair. "How about you?" He asked.

Eiri let out a small yawn as he removed his glasses and set them on the nightstand. "Good, I suppose. Are you hungry?"

Shu's eyes lit up. Was Eiri going to make him breakfast in bed? He could just imagine it now. The thought of Eiri walking up to him in a cute apron, handing him a trey of breakfast foods was a pleasing though. "Yeah!"

"Good, me too. Go make food."

Shu's hopes were crushed. "But Eiri! You _know_ I can't cook! You're a god of cooking compared to me!"

Eiri gave his lover a little smirk. "I know. What do you want to eat?"

"French toast!" Shuichi said with a giddy tone. The vocalist watched as his lover smiled while shaking his head. Eiri then got up and wandered off to the kitchen. Shuichi sat up and looked down at his lap. He sighed and pointed his attention to the window. The bright morning sun caused him to squint some. He knew there was something his dreams were trying to tell him. Things had gotten so fuzzy by this point that he couldn't remember the last time he was actually awake. 

'That's me,' he thought, 'always forgetting.' He was startled by the sound of his phone ringing. He looked over to his cell phone on his nightstand and watched as the vibration was making it rattle around on the wood. He picked it up, unplugged it from its charger and looked down to see who was calling. He read the name Hiroshi on the caller ID screen and debated within his own head whether he should pick up or not.

"Hello?" He asked into the phone after making his decision.

"Shuichi," came Hiro's frantic voice. "Where the hell are you?"

Shu blinked a couple times and looked around his bedroom. "My room," he paused, "I think."

"What do you mean _think_?" Asked his friend, his tone still uneasy.

"Never mind," Shu quickly responded. "What's going on?"

"Why aren't you here?"

"Oh," Shuichi looked to his bedside clock. "I'll be in a little later. Bye." Shu ended the call and set his phone back down. He sighed and waited for Eiri.

Eiri returned to the room with two plates in his hand and handed one to Shuichi. The vocalist happily took the plate before Eiri took a seat on the bed next to his lover. "Are you going into work today?"

Shu nodded as he took a large bite of his delicious breakfast. He felt a sticky substance dribble down onto his bare chest. He frowned, placed his plate down on the nightstand and looked down at the syrup he had dripped. He was then very shocked to find that Eiri had already made his way to start cleaning the mess.

A familiar feeling of Eiri's tongue ran up Shuichi's chest, making the man shudder with pleasure. A small coo emitted from him as Eiri's tongue didn't stop after cleaning up the syrup. The sensation traveled up to Shu's neck, causing him to moan softly. Eiri's tongue retreated, and a playful smirk graced his lips just before laying soft kisses upon his lover's slender neck. Kisses soon became light nibbles and suckles, causing Shuichi to writher with glee.

"Nnn," Shu let out as a hand found its way to Eiri's soft hair. Shuichi played with the blonde tuffs and slid his fingers back out in a combing matter.

Eiri made his way up to Shu's ear with delicate kisses, making each one in a very precise spot. He moved back down, then to his lover's cheek, before he finally claimed those sweet blueberry-tasting lips all to his self. Shuichi gladly accepted the kiss and parted his lips for Eiri to enter. The man made no hesitation to do so. His tongue found its way into Shuichi's slightly dry mouth. He took the chance to moisten it up and explore the cavern. Shu's tongue came to life and tease upon the blonde's. Eiri played a little with his tongue before pulling out of the kiss.

This displeased Shuichi as he showed with an overly dramatized pout. Eiri watched as the other man's lower lip stuck out. A snicker came from Eiri as he leaned down and hovered before Shuichi's lips. "Be careful," he said seductively, "you wouldn't want anyone to get that lip." He then gently bit at Shuichi's bottom lip and grazed his teeth over it as he pulled back and release the lip.

"I've missed you," Eiri said and he gently ran a hand down Shuichi's bare chest. He could see the surprise in Shu's expression. He returned only a blank look. "I've missed being able to touch you." Eiri began to look almost sad. "I feel like you aren't even mine anymore. My Shu has left somewhere. I don't know where he is. I can no longer look into your eyes and find you. You're lost. You're in a sea of yourself and I can't even find you to pull you back to safety."

"Eiri…" Shuichi said with shock. His brows drew down into a pained look. He didn't know what to say. He felt like everything Eiri had just said touched him so deeply. 

"I told you. I want to be number one on Shuichi's charts," he continued. He looked up into Shuichi's bright eyes and looked as though he were about to cry. "Where am I in the rankings of Shuichi? Where do I stand? Why do I feel like I'm standing still just for you, and you keep running away from me? I hate it, I hate this, and I hate you."

Shuichi watched as a tear fell from his lover's eye. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. Why was Eiri saying all this? Why was he crying?

"Where did you go?" Eiri said through his tears. There he was, showing his vulnerability. Eiri began to cry rather hard, gripping his hands around Shuichi's waist. "Where are you? I miss you so fucking much. Why aren't you here with me? Why did you have to fucking leave me this way?" Eiri's sobs were beginning to make his words more powerful and a little less understandable. "I need you back here with me, Shuichi. I fucking _need _ you."

Shuichi was utterly speechless through all this. He felt like he couldn't speak even if he tried. He didn't know where all this came from. But he felt a strange understanding of everything his lover was saying, even though not a single word of it made sense. "Eiri," he finally spoke over the blonde's sobs. "I am right here. I'm right here, right now. I'm not gone at all. I know times are hard and a bit weird right now, but everything will be okay. There is no need to pull me to safety, I'm safe right here with you."

"NO!" Eiri shouted. "I was too fucking late! I couldn't save you! And now I don't have you! You fucking liar! You fucking liar!" Eiri was almost screaming with how hard he was crying. Shuichi could feel him shaking violently. "Shuichi!" Eiri screamed as he tightly closed his eyes. In one fluid motion, Eiri sat up and punched a hole into the bedroom wall. "FUCK!" He fell back down into Shuichi's lap and continued his painful sobs.

"Eiri…"

Shuichi came into work with nothing more then a glance to his band mates and manager. He set his backpack down on a chair and went over to K. "I'm here," he said with no emotion.

"As I can see," came K's careful response. "Shuichi," he began, "is something going on with Yuki-san?"

Shuichi looked up to his manager and gave him a blank stare. "Where am I?" He asked. "Am I in hell? Is this all punishment?"

"Shuichi," Hiro said softly as he came up to the two. "What are you talking about? Hell? Punishment?"

Shuichi looked over to the guitarist and gave him a weak smile. "Hiroshi… You sure were right about something. I have forgotten. I have forgotten life. I can't let you all down. No matter what is going on, there is still reality to deal with."

"No, there is not," came the calm voice of Seguchi as he entered the room. "Reality doesn't seem to exist to you any longer, Shindou-san. Obviously, you need to stop acting like everything is so well off. Come back to your senses. You know what is going on. Stop lying to yourself all the time."

"Seguchi-san…" Shuichi sighed and looked down to the floor. He had the overwhelming feeling that everyone but he knew something. They were all hiding it from him. It was as though it was some sick game of keeping such a secret from Shuichi. Everyone was in on it, and when he wasn't around they would laugh. He just felt like he knew that was going on. He wanted this game to end. Game over. No more.

"He's right, you know," K said with a sigh. "Shuichi, I know it's hard to deal with, but be honest with yourself. It will make coping so much easier. I know it tough, but we all have to deal with it. Eventually, there is no more sadness you can give. You'll suck yourself dry. And we need a juiced up vocalist, not a bone dry one. I'm sorry to say it, but nobody else will."

"But we can't see into your future. Only you can," Suguru said as he joined into the conversation.

Shuichi looked upon all their faces and felt as though he was going to scream.

"Just please," Hiro said to his friend, "stop forgetting… What's important."

Shuichi's mouth was agape as he stared at Hiroshi.

The room was silent until Shuichi's ringtone broke that silence.

(TBC)

God, I was so pumped to write an epic chapter. I feel like I owe it to the world to dish out an epic and long chapter with how long it's been since my last update. Life has just been so crazy lately. It's hard growing up, but an adventure.

I was totally ready to write out a hot sex scene with the whole syrup thing, but then I totally lost focus and had that whole Eiri spilling his guts out thing because I thought of a whole new aspect for later on in the story. It hit me like a tsunami and I have to do it now.

Anyone noticing a major pattern yet?

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo was inspired for the gut spilling scene by listening to Fort Minor's Where'd You Go on repeat.

Tomo loves you all!


	10. Anti Nostalgic

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 10: Anti-Nostalgic

"Hello?" Shuichi spoke into his phone. Shuichi listened to the voice of Seguchi's wife screaming at him about Eiri. "M-Mika," he stuttered, "I don't know what was going on with him this morning, I'm sorry." Shuichi looked over to Tohma. The blonde was holding out his hand, signaling for Shuichi to hand him the cell. Shu complied silently.

"Mika...?" Tohma asked as he walked out of the room to get privacy.

"So there _was_ something about Yuki?" Hiro asked as his gaze lazily drifted to his friend with the faint markings of a frown. "Shuichi, you need to stop letting him treat you like crap." Hiro gave a sharp nod in self-agreement He walked over to his chair and picked up his guitar which was at rest next to newly acquired position. Slinging the strap over his shoulder, he lightly strummed on the stings while giving a stare to Shu.

Shuichi returned the favor, his brows drawing down. Hiro was wrong this time. Shuichi was the one treating Eiri like shit. "No," he began, "you're wrong. Eiri didn't do anything to me. It was all me this time. I'm the one bringing him pain."

Everyone stared at Shuichi with disbelief. How could the vocalist's declaration be true at all? The silence was broken as Tohma reentered the room. "Shindou-san," he said calmly as he walked up to Shuichi, offering the phone back to him. Shuichi looked down at the phone and gingerly took it. After pocketing it, he looked up at Tohma, and everyone in the room was entirely shocked at what then took place.

Shuichi found himself reeling onto his backside after having his balance knocked off by a powerful punch to the face. He put a hand on his assailed cheek and looked up to the keyboardist with wide eyes. "Seguchi-san?" Hiro asked as he put his guitar back down and went over to his friend to help him back up. Shuichi was skittish at first, but accepted Hiro's offer.

Suguru did not attempt to do anything. He knew his cousin, and he knew better than to say or do anything. K on the other hand, being a wild American, had his magnum in his hand with a tight grip. He refrained from aiming at the NG president, but kept the gun at the ready. "Seguchi…" came Shuichi's shaking voice.

"I do not want you in this building as of now, Shindou-san. As far as I am concerned, Bad Luck can find another label. I want you out by three this afternoon. Do what ever you may wish with your life after today, but I no longer want you here, or near Eiri."

"Eiri?" Shuichi asked. "What does he have to do with this?"

"Everything," Tohma said, and then left the room in an even more dramatic state.

Shuichi watched as he left the room, rubbing his face. He frowned, his attention falling to the carpeted floor. He refused to allow himself to cry. He pondered what it could be about Eiri that Tohma was so angry over. It happened so often and Tohma ha such a complicated process to figure out.

It couldn't have been about this morning, could it? Shuichi didn't even know what Eiri was talking about then. And from the vague sounds of it, it was only Eiri that wanted to help Shuichi. Tohma couldn't be mad over Eiri wanting to help him, could he? That wouldn't make any sense whatsoever. Shuichi was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the claiming voice of Hiroshi. "What?" he asked.

"I asked if you were okay," Hiro repeated.

Shuichi looked around the room, still holding back tears. He was going to miss this place. He was going to miss NG. "I have no option but to quit the band," Shuichi began, "I'm sorry everyone. But you'll have to find a new vocalist."

Shuichi left the room, and nobody tried to stop him. Hiroshi looked to K and frowned. "I'm getting a really weird feeling of déjà vu."

"As am I," replied the American.

Shuichi walked through the halls of NG, trying to memorize every detail. He sighed deeply, and then looked up to see Ryuichi coming his way. He was hopeful that his fellow vocalist would cheer him up some.

Ryuichi came up to him and the two stopped dead in their tracks. Ryuichi looked down to Shuichi with a serious look upon his face. Shuichi looked up to him with a slight sense of fear. "You're a bad man for leaving everyone like this, Shuichi."

"Ryuichi-san… It's not my fault. Tohma… He…"

It has nothing to do with Tohma. It happened long before today," Ryu snapped, then continued on his way.

Shuichi turned back to look at Ryuichi. He was in even more shock now. What did he mean? Sure, he had been very distant and strange the past couple weeks, but he didn't think it would cause such a negative effect. Everyone at NG was used to Shuichi's almost bi-polar behavior. If anything, he thought his friends would be there for him during his pain.

He was feeling as though he lost his whole world.

-

As Shuichi entered the apartment, he could hear the sound of Eiri's voice. He followed it into the bedroom. Eiri was lying in bed, talking of the phone. The blonde looked over to his lover, then back down to his chest. Shuichi cautiously walked over to the bed and sat down on his side, next to Eiri.

"Yeah. Don't let it happen again, Mika." Eiri hung up the phone and tossed it to the foot of the bed. "Did that Seguchi give you shit today?" Eiri asked as he grabbed Shuichi's arm and pulled him closer to his own body. Eiri's way of demanding cuddles.

Shuichi laid his head down on Eiri's chest, his hand falling near his own head, almost immediately  
beginning to trace little shapes on to his lover's chest. "Yeah, he fired me from NG today."

"God damnit. My sister complains that I don't open up enough, and as soon as I do, you loose your fucking job."

Shuichi stayed silent and just continued to run his fingers over Eiri's bare chest. He wondered what it was that Eiri had told his older sister. Whatever it was, it got him into a lot of trouble. "Well," Shuichi started after his long silence, "What did you say that got her so angry? Whatever it was, it got Seguchi rather angry as well."

"I just told her my feelings," Eiri said. "It was no big deal at all. She just misconstrued it, I'm sure;  
then went off to her precious Tohma, bitching that you did something. I'll get it sorted out with everyone this weekend." Eiri could hear a little snivel come from Shuichi. He looked down at his lover, who was gripping thin air into a tight fist. "Brat?" Eiri asked.

"It just makes me so angry that your sister can't mind her own business when it comes to you," Shu said as he tried to calm himself down. He loosened his fist, allowing his hand to gracefully float back down to Eiri's chest. He ran a couple fingers up and down the skin, noting how soft it felt today. Shuichi figured that Eiri actually took the time to take a nice long relaxing bath, rather than his usually bare essentials of getting his hair clean and smelling good.

"How was your day?" Shuichi asked.

"It was fine. After you left I just bathed, then ate lunch."

Shuichi mentally gave himself thumbs up for guessing correctly on Eiri's agenda. He sat up and looked down at his lover. He gazed upon his face, noting the dark, almost purple, bags under his eyes. Eiri looked so exhausted that he was beginning to resemble a raccoon with an anal sex complex. Shuichi almost snickered to the thought of a gay raccoon. But he stopped himself from doing so and continued to look down at Eiri. The man seemed to have been loosing a lot of weight. Shuichi could almost swear that he could very clearly see his cheek bones.

When Eiri would breathe out of his mouth, he could smell the familiar scent of cigarettes, but alcohol as well. It smelt as thought Eiri was beginning to drink more. Shuichi was also a little frightened that he could tell how much his significant other was drinking based on his breath. Talk about obsessed.

Shuichi sat and pretty much ogled Eiri, but the thoughts running through his head were different from the expression his face was suggesting. He sat and wondered what exactly Eiri was going through. He wondered what brought on such a strange occurrence.

"Eiri, are you okay?" Shuichi finally gathered the courage to ask that one simple question.

"Isn't that like you, Shuichi?" Eiri smirked, "Always forgetting."

Shuichi stared in shock and horror down at Eiri. He tried to close his mouth, but it was too far agape. He blinked as his cell phone began to ring. Shuichi was still staring down at Eiri's still lingering smirk. "There's no need to answerer it. I'm right here, so what's the point?"

Shuichi took a hold of his cell phone and looked down at the caller ID.

'Yuki Eiri'

-

"Shuichi, it's okay," Eiri whispered. Shuichi was huddled up against his body, shaking and crying. Eiri was trying his best to console the younger man. He rocked him back and forth, stroked his hair, whispered cliché lines into his ear, but alas, nothing was calming him down at all.

Eiri sighed, and then thought of something that would be rather meaningful to the vocalist.

"_**Toumei ga yozora somete**_

_**hitori aruku itsumo no kaerimichi"**_

Shuichi's crying simmered down as he heard his own lyrics being sung to him through Eiri's voice. Shuichi sniffled and looked up to his lover's face with wide eyes.

Eiri looked right back down at Shuichi, keeping eye contact. Eiri had such a serious, and yet gentle expression. It was calming, just about as calming as the sound passing his lips.

"_**Kuchizusamu konna kimochi**_

_**nemuru kimi ni todoketai na"**_

It was Anti-Nostalgic. Eiri's favorite of Bad Luck's songs. However, it wasn't his favorite for any reason involving Shuichi. At least, that's what he always told Shuichi. Anytime the pink-haired boy would ask him about his favorite Bad Luck track, he would reply very cold-heartedly that it was Anti-Nostalgic, only because of Hiroshi's guitar work. He would say he never paid attention to the lyrics after the first time hearing them, because they were completely dismal.

But it seemed as thought Eiri was proving himself quite wrong.

"_**Nanika ni obieteru jibun ga chotto iya ni naru**_

_**tsugeru omoi torinokoshita hibi ni...**_

_**dokoka ni wasureteru kokoro ga chotto itakunaru**_

_**toki wo tsunagu hoshi no yoru ni kimi wo sagashiteru"**_

Shuichi was in amazement from the voice that was coming out of Eiri. He had forgotten about the entire reason of him being upset. It meant nothing to him now; he just wanted to bask in this moment.

"_**Toozakaru kumo ni nosete**_

_**boku no kimochi tachidomaru kaerimichi"**_

Eiri's hand had begun to slide up Shuichi's chest. Shu closed his eyes as he was soaking up this kind moment Eiri was giving him. He could feel the hand find its way to his hair. Eiri's fingers began to comb through Shuichi's messy hair. When he would reach a tangle, he would gently slip his fingers out of the hair, then back in to avoid any pain on Shuichi's part.

"_**Kimi wa mou yume no tsuzuki**_

_**todoku hazu mo nai koto da to wakatteiru"**_

As Eiri sung that verse, Shuichi remembered the very reason he ever wrote that song in the first place. He felt a very deep connection with his lyrics and his own mind at the time. He felt a little vain for it, he even felt rather sad about it, but he did his very best to take pride in it all. He was in so much mental ecstasy over Eiri singing to him, the song choice, everything.

All he wanted right now was for Eiri to take him.

"_**Namida ga koboreteru egao ga chotto hoshikunaru**_

_**kimi no soba ni ireru dake de oku wa...**_

_**Dareka ga toikakeru rikutsu ga motto hoshikunaru**_

_**kieru kage ni mabushisugita hibi wo utsushiteru"**_

Shuichi looked to Eiri's face, and as the blonde was singing, he showed a tiny smile to Shuichi.

"_**anika ni obieteru jibun ga chotto iya ni naru**_

_**tsugeru omoi torinokoshita hibi ni...**_

_**dokoka ni wasureteru kokoro ga chotto itakunaru**_

_**toki wo tsunagu hoshi no yoru ni kimi wo sagashiteru"**_

As Eiri finished singing, he looked down to Shuichi and grinned. "Well, pop star… What did you think of my singing?"

Eiri had expected by the look on Shuichi's face that he would pounce him, squeal, and scream about how much he was in love. Surprisingly, however, Shuichi just looked up to Eiri with tears swelling up in his eyes. Shuichi just gazed up with the sweetest and kindest smile Eiri had ever seen in his life. "It was beautiful," Shuichi answered as he blushed.

Eiri just couldn't take it anymore. Shuichi had just pushed him over the edge.

Eiri pushed Shuichi flat down onto his back and hovered above him. "You have to stop being so damned cute. Bad things will happen."

Shuichi simply giggled shyly in return, which just turned Eiri on more. Shu then pushed himself up a little and lightly grabbed a hold of Eiri's ear with his teeth.

That was the last straw.

Eiri blushed as he pushed his lover back down. Almost as if he were a wild beast, Eiri removed both of their clothing and threw them about, not caring where any of the garments landed.

Shuichi looked down at his own and Eiri's nude forms. He smiled up at Eiri, leaned up, and captured his lips in a kiss.

Eiri kissed the boy in return as his hand wandered off to grab the handle of the drawer in the nightstand. He pulled the tiny drawer open and felt around inside. He grasped a cold item, and brought it over to the scene on the bed.

Without pulling away from the fiery kiss, Eiri popped open the top of the lubrication and squeezed on it. He felt the cool gel ooze onto his first two fingers.

He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at Shuichi. "It's been a while… Are you ready?" He asked.

Shuichi nodded.

'_Transparency dyes the night sky, and_

_I walk alone on the road that always leads home.'_

Shuichi was fully aware that since it had been a while, his body wouldn't be as used to it. But he was prepared, and Eiri was never shy about properly readying Shuichi's body. He felt confident about everything, as the sounds of Anti-Nostalgic flooded his mind.

'_Singing to myself, I want to send these kinds of feelings_

_to you in your sleep.'_

Shuichi yelped as Eiri inserted the first finger. It came as a cold surprise. It didn't matter, though. Nothing did as long as he was with his Eiri.

'_I'm tangled up in something; I'm getting a little sick of myself._

_Tangled up in the feelings to convey to those days that have been left behind..._

_The heart I've forgotten somewhere is starting to hurt a little._

_I keep searching for you in a night lit by the stars that are bound to that time.'_

Shuichi cringed, but held back and painful screams as Eiri entered a second finger. He could feel the fingers moving around, lubing his tight body up. Eiri was very delicate with him this time around. It was a nice surprise. Shuichi could feel as Eiri's fingers slipped out.

He knew what was next.

The feeling of Eiri's cold and lubricated erection began to force its way into Shuichi. The vocalist let out whimpers and cries in pain, but Eiri made no intentions of stopping. As Eiri made his way comfortably in, he could feel his lover's muscles loosen up a bit.

A smile graced both their lips before Eiri began a gentle rhythm.

Shuichi could feel all his sorrows and pain wash away. The man he could feel himself becoming was washing away. He didn't want to slip into that person ever. He could feel his tangled feelings unwind, and all his troubles dissipating. He felt no pain any longer, only pleasure.

'_I place my feelings on the receding clouds_

_on the road home, where I pause to stand.'_

Shuichi looked up to Eiri, who surprisingly looked down at him and locked their eyes. As Shuichi cooed, moaned, and even screamed occasionally in pleasure, he never took his eyes off of Eiri's.

'_You are already a part of my continuing dreams;_

_I know that those feelings can't possibly reach you from here.'_

'Dream,' Shuichi thought, 'What if… This is all a lie, again?' Shuichi tried to keep his thoughts steady, but it was rather complicated, considering the man he loved was crashing into him and sending waves of pleasure all throughout his body.

'_The tears keep falling; jut by being able to be close to you,_

_I'm starting to want a smile, just a little..._

_Someone asks questions; I'm starting to want this to make more sense._

_You cast those too-brilliant days into a fading shadow.'_

'It doesn't even matter to me right now,' Shuichi thought as Eiri took a hold of his member. Eiri created smooth and steady pumps that followed in time of his thrusts upon his lover. He was determined to raise his high score in times he had gotten Shuichi to cum at the same time. They both enjoyed it much more.

Shuichi didn't even pay attention to that thought. He was just moaning in his well deserved pleasure. Be it real or not.

'_I'm tangled up in something; I'm getting a little sick of myself --_

_tangled up in the feelings to convey to those days that have been left behind..._

_The heart I've forgotten somewhere is starting to hurt a little._

_I keep searching for you in a night lit by the stars that are bound to that time.'_

-

Shuichi felt his body jolt. He yawned and looked down at his bowl of soup. He was getting ready to try and talk to Eiri's psychiatrist again. This time, he was going with Eiri for support, and also clear facts, which Shuichi couldn't give.

"Are you almost done? We have to go soon," Eiri said as he walked past Shuichi, looking for his belt which had become lost in last night's passion.

Shuichi didn't answer as he took a spoonful of soup to his mouth. He didn't want to go see that shrink again, but he did feel a bit more relaxed about it, knowing that Eiri would be by his side.

"Come on, brat. Let's get going," Eiri said in a frustrated tone as he was looping his belt through his pant loops.

(TBC)

I have no idea where all that came from. I just pulled it all out of my ass, and it just so happens to be the longest chapter so far. But seriously, and I'm just dumbfounded as to where all that came from. I don't even know if it's good or not. Huh, Weird.

Thanks to my dear friend CBM for helping me do a bit of editing for this chapter. You know a guy really loves you when he's willing to sit down and help you with your fanfiction which happens to be homosexual when he himself is totally straight.

Aaah, six years of friendship gets you very far in life.  Hooray! I hope you like it.

Please review whether it's good or bad! I love feedback.

Random Tomo Fact: Tomo is in California visiting her mom, baby sister and step-dad. She's going to a concert on the 8th! Yay!


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